Is What We’re Doing Hurting Our Kids?

This is a tough one to write because I have to be totally honest.  I’m guilty.

This past week-end I was thumbing through the TV channels and came across a segment of the comedian, Steve Harvey, and his mentoring program.  Steve Harvey runs a summer camp for teen boys who have no father figure in their home.

His program’s focus is teaching young men to be men.  He shared when they first started the program the boys would participate during the day then stay with their moms in the hotel at night.  The next morning the moms would tell him “their baby” didn't feel like participating in the exercise portion or didn't want to do this or that.   Simply, the moms were enabling their kids.  What they thought was “helping” was really hurting their success in the program.   He learned quickly not to have that arrangement next year.  The boys would stay in a cabin and the moms would stay in the hotel.  They would see each other at the end of the week.

Are you like me?  Are you guilty of enabling rather than letting them tough it out? 

There were times I dealt with situations my kids were involved in rather than allowing them to do it – and learn from it.  As your student begins to transition on to high school and beyond, you can’t be everywhere with them.  You can’t solve their problems or fight their battles.  You can, however, teach them the skills they need and push them to handle the situation.  For example, if your student has a poor grade in a class, instead of YOU contacting the teacher, have him/her do so.  Teach him/her how to do it respectfully, how to inquire, how to compromise, and how to handle “no” when it occurs.  Other principles we want our kids to possess include:

Integrity, Responsibility, Respect, Honesty, Patience, Discipline, Service, and Courage.

Let’s be honest.  We don’t want them still living with us when they’re 40. J  Let’s help them build the confidence to handle what they perceive is adversity.  Let’s no longer enable them.

www.steveharveymentoring.com

P.S.  I would be remiss if I didn’t put a plug in for our mentoring program.  If you would like to be involved, please contact tina.bentley@scott.kyschools.us.